Announcing the launch of HolidayPirates Air, a revolution in the air-travel market
Pirates, boy do we have some exciting news to share with you today, we're absolutely thrilled to be announcing the launch of HolidayPirates Air - our very own airline! Of course, we won't be doing things in quite the same way as other airlines have done before, we'll be putting our own pirate twist on things!
Only error fares will be bookable on Holiday Pirates Air so forget about booking at normal prices whenever you choose, you'll only be getting a ticket during error fare periods which will be random, usually when you're in the middle of something else and will last no longer than 3hrs.
Being a pirate airline means that the rum will be flowing freely, all passengers over the age of 18 will be provided with a free ration of rum upon boarding. During the flight, your rations will be topped up by the onboard parrot waiters.
Safety is our top priority and our expertly trained pirate flight attendants will be ensuring that all passengers endure their voyage safely. Only staff with wooden legs will be employed, hiring for these positions starts today, your wooden leg will be a vital part of your role so please, don't apply if your leg isn't wooden.
Holiday Pirates Air provides all the facilities you would expect at very reasonable price points, with toilet access starting from just £10 (€12) per use (prices vary depending on flight length, season, the mood of the flight attendant, and day of the week) with the option to pre-purchase access at the discounted price of just £8 (€10). Simply speak to the flight attendant during the flight to arrange to use your pre-purchased lavatory access.
We'll also be shaking up the aircraft seating market by offering a world first, panorama seating. Panorama seating will offer you the best views as we fly you to your destination, soaking up a birds-eye view of the world below. From your comfy spot underneath the wing secure strapping will ensure your safety during the course of the flight. Panorama seating starts from just £16 (€20) per flight.
We expect our first flight to take place later this year and ticket sales for our inaugural flight from Penzance to Shipwreck Island will begin during our first error fare period at some random point in the future.
We hope to see you onboard soon and happy April fools day!